theresaurus

June 22, 2012

This is my kitchen

Filed under: Uncategorized — theresaurus @ 8:13 am

This is the world’s smallest kitchen. It’s like cooking in a locker. In the summer it’s like cooking in a locker with an oven and gas burners in it. The cupboard with everything I need to prepare food is in the other room. I have to say “excuse me” to the refrigerator every time I turn around. There is not enough room to swing Hello Kitty. Flyers advertising condos like this one don’t put anything in the kitchen to make it seem like it’s normal sized. In the photograph there’s a happy couple or family sitting down to a meal in the dining room with an empty kitchen behind them. Where did the food come from without a refrigerator or oven? Is it a magic kitchen? Sam thinks my kitchen is a magic kitchen. He wants things, they appear. Too bad everything’s not like that. I want a magic wallet.

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2 Comments »

  1. I actually had a smaller kitchen when I moved here, one electric ring no grill. I transferred schools in order to get an apartment with a 2 burner con-ro. My favorite TV show here is Befor After where they reno people’s homes. I watch it for the horror show that is the Before section. After? Meh, they have a reasonably livable place. Before is crazy, naked people squeezing themselves into the shower between their knife-wielding spouse chopping vegetables and the hot frypan directly behind them. Staircases piled high with books and rotted through underneath. Old women climbing atop stacks of buckets to reach around the outside corner of the verandah to reach the laundry machine. Boxes and boxes full of hoarded tissue paper and scraps of lint, piled into towers so high and deep than no one can enter the room. The word ferel comes to mind; feral grannies and grandpas with their feral children, living in the hollowed out shell of a house, furnished with things dragged back. I have seen, on TV, Brazilian Favelas and Indian shanty town houses kept in better order. And the Before After people are all ones who can afford the 3 million yen to pay for the reno. Amazing.

    Comment by Kazangaeru — June 22, 2012 @ 8:33 am

    • I’ve had a smaller kitchen, a non-existent kitchen, one electric ring no grill, but that was a studio apartment. This place has a whole room we don’t use except to store stuff. The living room is spacious. Whoever designed these apartments did not cook, maybe was unsure what exactly happens in a kitchen, how big a refrigerator is, etc. Whoever they are, I curse them from my locker kitchen.

      Comment by theresaurus — June 22, 2012 @ 8:43 am


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